Joel's Saga, A tale of Love, Passion and Bandits
by TheKholdOblivion
Summary: Joel, a mysterious hood-wearing man, embarks on a journey for the Vault. Lot's of romance and happiness, with some interesting twists. Maya X OC, Moxxi X Axton, Angel X Zer0 and Gaige X Krieg
1. Appearances and such forth

Author's note:

This is the first fan fiction I have written so I hope that everyone can excuse my probable lack of skill at writing. I have read a great many but this is the first I have actually written. Without further ado, welcome to the story. I'm not so great at writing sex scenes as well but, I will try my best, as those will be in this story for all of you to read (sorry kiddies, I'm slapping an M on this one).

Also! The backstories for each of the characters (except Joel) were made by misspk, check out her story Maya's Story, Past, Passion, Purpose and something else.

Italicized text is the specified character's thoughts.

Chapter 1: Appearances and such forth.

Joel woke from his slumber to the violent sound of his neighbors engaging in yet another early morning round of loud, kinky sex.

_'I really have to find a better place to live.' 'If I have to wake to this again, I'm going to personally murder both of them with whatever disgusting instrument they are currently exploring the uses of.'_ Joel thought. Although his anger was somewhat mitigated by the fact that he was leaving for Pandora today, to search for the second vault. He decided to go, ignoring the warnings given to him by everyone he had confided in.

_'__Fuck them; all their "I know better than you and I think you're making a mistake" drives me insane.' 'I'll make all the mistakes I want and if you think you know better than me, well you can shove that idea where the sun don't shine.' _

He wrenched himself free of his bed and made his way to the shuttle bay. He was not going to enjoy the trip to Pandora.

His ship landed on the burnt, dusty space station landing grounds after having an extremely uneventful trip. Literally nothing interesting had happened on the way, usually you hear stories of space pirates and whatnot, but there had been nothing of the kind. Just a boring shuttle for 49 hours (that's Pandoran hours, they are 18 minutes long and the Pandoran day is 90 hours long. You best get used to this, as I write using the Pandoran day/night cycle). Joel looked at the flyer he was holding, it had the instructions on how to get to the main Pandoran headquarters for Hyperion on it. Some nut job who calls himself Handsome Jack had printed flyers that beckoned for adventurers to come and join him in the quest for The Vault (II).

_'__I'll bet this whole thing is a trap, no one gives out free invitations to join in a quest with a reward THAT good.' 'I swear, this planet will be the death of me.' _

"Train to Emerald Glacier now boarding, welcome Vault Hunters" The sugary sweet voice of the robotic announcer was sickening, and would make any reasonable person doubt their personal safety. Joel abandoned the idea of making his own way without Hyperion's help, simply because it would be far harder to make his way to the Vault on foot. With a stiff upper lip and a stern expression, he boarded the train, quickly taking in the message that there would be 2 more stops before the base was reached.

Joel placed himself on an unoccupied seat and looked at the surrounding people. There was a very tiny man who looked as though he ate nothing but steroids, and probably could throw people much farther than he trusted them. There was a man who had the "distant thought" look about him, and who also seemed to have an "A" tattooed on his head with what looked like lead, or silver. And finally, there was, maybe a robot, or a very tall man in a mask who appeared to be cleaning a sniper rifle.

_'__Great, this can only go well for me, I'm stuck on a train with 3 people who would probably try to murder me if I walked into them.'_ Although, funnily enough,he was wrong. The very tiny man walked up to him and said:

"Morning Amigo, what's your name? I'm Salvador.

Joel was stunned by the man's politeness, and took the hand that had been outstretched towards him.

"Joel's the name good sir, and I will agree with your statement, the morning is good, although a few hundred degrees lower would be better." Joel replied, attempting a joke.

"Haha, it certainly would be better my friend, now come, sit, meet the rest of the crew."

Salvador gestured to the man who had the tattoo.

"That there is Axton." "He was in the Dahl army before he came here." The man who was apparently named Axton waved to him and said:

"Yeah yeah, but I left them a long time ago, I decided I would be better on my own."

Salvador then gestured to the other train car occupant and said:

"That, uh, man, I guess?" "He, or she is Zer0" "Apparently an assassin, but he won't talk much." Zer0 then nodded his head in the direction of the two men.

"Great, well it's good to meet the people I'll be searching for the Vault with, and I hope we'll all become great friends." Joel said to everyone, genuinely hoping that that could happen, like ever.

He took a seat with Salvador and began striking up a conversation.

"So, if you don't mind my asking, why are you at your current level of stature?" Joel asked, trying to be polite,

"What?" was all Salvador could respond with.

"Why are you short?"

"OH!" "That's because of the steroids I use, couldn't have this much muscle without them." He flexed his biceps to make his point.

_'I fucking knew it.'_ Joel thought to himself.

"Although they've shrunk my balls down to the size of marbles, ah well, you win some, you lose some." "So why do you wear a hood?" Salvador pointed at the hood and mask on his face.

"That my friend, is something that I will tell you some other day." "I was almost killed because of what's under this hood, so I will reveal it to you at some point, but not today."

"Ok then, but in that case you've got to tell me how many women you've slept with."

"The answer to that question is the same as life, the universe and everything, would be 42."

"Shit amigo, that's a lot."


	2. Chapter 2: The Rest of the Bunch

Author's Note:

I have read the 1 review I have gotten so far and take it into consideration; I cannot sadly provide a description of Joel's appearance just yet, that will come later though, just wait.

I do not own borderlands, nor do I claim any rights for anything in this story, apart from Joel, he's mine.

Chapter 2: The rest of the bunch

Joel was enjoying the train ride enough to pass the time. He and Salvador were engaged in a deep conversation about loads of things.

"So, how many women have YOU slept with Sal?"

"Probably about 600."

"Yeah right, I bet it's more like 9"

"HEY!" "I have slept with WAY more women than THAT!"

"Come off it man, you can't have."

"It's true!" "I HAVE!"

"Fine, fine whatever." Salvador and Joel sat in an awkward silence for a while before Axton piped up with:

"So, what's with the disguise Joel?"

"Yeah JOEL!" "WHAT'S WITH THE DISGUISE!?"

"I can't tell any of you that, yet." He replied.

"Fine then, at least tell us what it's made of, that sure as hell is not conventional clothing." Axton mentioned.

"That my friend would be solid steel." Joel said, in a very proud voice.

"Really, why have you armored your left side, and not your right?" Axton queried, pointing at the coating of armor covering Joel's left side.

"Well, I can't tell you that, but I can tell you it was a bitch to make." "getting nearly 6"2' of pure steel was NOT fun."

"Wouldn't that weigh a shitload?" asked Salvador, in an oddly calm voice.

"Yeah, that plus my whole body weighs about 800 pounds." Joel replied.

"Fuck man; how the shit do you wear that without falling over every 3 feet?" Axton asked in a voice so surprised a 7 year old girl might have been talking."

Joel was about to respond when suddenly the train stopped at another station and the door opened. There stood a young looking girl, maybe 19 years old.

"Hey darling what's your name?" Axton asked, presumably attempting to get in her pants.

"Gaige, uh darlin?" She replied in a confused manner.

Everyone's gaze immediately turned to the hand she had offered the man. Her hand was a metallic arm with a crude representation of a human hand on the end, with an arm full of interchangeable attachments instead of the hand. She stood there awkwardly not knowing what everyone was so shocked about.

'_What the fuck are they looking at? Oh balls my arm! They don't know that I cut it off!'_

"Oh yeah, that? I cut my real arm off years ago, that way I could get DT out a lot easier." She explained.

"What's DT? I'm afraid to ask." Joel asked in his barely American deep voice.

"DT is my robot I made; DT is short for death trap." Gaige explained. She then flicked her wrist and a hulking monstrosity of a robot was suddenly digistructed.

"Pretty cool, isn't he?"

Zer0, having not talked this whole time decided now would be a good time to introduce himself.

"Hello Gaige, I'm Zer0, that man who is weakly attempting to court you is Axton, (Axton shot an angry look at Zer0) the very tiny man who seems to be made of pure muscle and energy, is Salvador, the last ma- Salvador chose this time to rudely interrupt.

"Hello, there Gaige, I am Salvador, great conqueror of the planet Pandora." He finished his statement off by offering his hand to the young girl. This looked very awkward for him as she was probably a foot and a half taller than him.

"I don't remember anything like that Sal." Joel said with a smirk.

"Shut up amigo or I will shut you up myself." Salvador warned Joel.

"Huh, whatever." Joel turned away laughing slightly.

"ANYWAY!" Zer0 said loudly. "The remaining man, who is wearing what appears to be a suit of armor that only covers his left side, is Joel." Zer0 finally finished.

"Well it's great to meet you all, now tell me, does anyone have a beer?"

The whole group's expressions turned to one of thought as they attempted to remember seeing any food or drink of any sort on the train by this point.

"Wait, I think I saw a food car here somewhere…" Joel went off through a door at the back of the train car. Everyone waited in anticipation for his return. After at least a solid five minutes of waiting, the door opened and Joel awkwardly stepped through holding a huge box of bottled Rakk-Ale.

"There we are, beers all round" Joel said, handing a bottle to everyone. Zer0 simply looked at him with an odd expression before an appeared on his mask, and he took the bottle.

The whole group was silent for a few moments with only the noise of liquid being drunk at an obscene pace cutting through the atmosphere. There was a moment after everyone stopped drinking and looked at each other, before everyone began a coughing fit simultaneously.

"Agh, this tastes like I've poured a terrible mixture of skag piss and molten lava down my throat." Axton stated bluntly.

Joel and Gaige simply sat with closed eyes and a pained expression on their faces, whilst Salvador licked his lips and began drinking again. Zer0 said nothing, but only began to sway gently, as if he were already drunk out of his skull.

"Yeah amigo, that will be because it's about 20 percent pure alchahol." Salvador said, in regard to Axton's earlier comment.

The train stopped once again at this point, and the doors opened, but this time there was a fight going on. There was a Siren and a hulking muscly monster wearing a gas mask standing out of the doors, killing some rats (not rats, I mean bandits). The whole group looked out at the pair, who looked at each other with a look that said "I-know-you-saved-my-life-but-I-saved-yours-too-so-I'm-a-badass-as-well." The two of them stepped in and looked at the group, deciding that everyone was far too drunk to be talked to, the Siren said nothing but the huge man had other ideas.

"I'M THE CAPTAIN OF THE POOP TRAIN, KRIEG!" shouted the giant man, apparently named Krieg.

"Sit down brother, have a beer." Axton said handing him a bottle.

"I WILL CONSUME THE LIFE JUICE!" Krieg screamed in eagerness.

The Siren, apparently changing her mind said:

"Hi everyone I'm Maya, this is Krieg, who are you guys?" she quite obviously wanted introductions to be out of the way.

"Well, I'm Joel, the midget is Salvador, (Salvador's only way to respond to this was to shake his fist at him) the soldier is Axton and the girl is Gaige." He finished his sentence with a hiccup, apparently getting more and more drunk by the second.

"YOU WILL PARTAKE IN THE JUICE CONSUMING!" Krieg yelled, offering a bottle to Maya.

"Thanks Krieg" she said, taking the bottle and opening it, with a hint of disgruntledness in her voice. She sat down and took a heavy drink for her bottle. Looking nauseated she closed her eyes and put her hands on her head.

It was at this point that the sign saying "Welcome, Vault Hunters!" decided to fall being replaced by another simply stating "to your doom! (Nothing personal).

"_Well fuck my life this just keeps getting better." _Joel thought to himself when he saw the two Loaders digistruct out of an open door.

Author's other note:

Hey guys! I hope you're enjoying the fanfic so far, sorry for the slow start but there is going to be TONNSSSS of dialogue in this one so, get used to it. Also! Please leave a review or PM me with your opinion!

Byeeeeeeeeee…


	3. Chapter 3: Jack You Bastard

Author's note:

Sorry for the long wait guys, I just came back from holiday and have had trouble re-adjusting to normal life but, I thought I should give you guys an update. Thanks for everyone who writes reviews I like the feedback and the thought that someone is actually reading this, so, here goes.

Chapter 3: Jack you bastard!

In the few fleeting seconds before a horde of loaders descended upon him, Joel noticed 2 things: 1, Zer0 was nowhere to be seen, he was trying to introduce him to Maya before the loaders came but, he was gone. 2. His armour was being pressed on from the inside.

'_Not now, I don't need this to happen while I'm fighting!'_

The group had assembled some apparently unspoken fighting stance where Gaige, Krieg and Joel were fighting a group of loaders that were breaking in through the windows, and Axton, Maya and Salvador were moving forwards up into the front of the train. Axton pulled out his turret, which began firing on the loaders while he pulled out an E-tech rocket launcher and fired upon the close group of them. Maya, not wanting to be outdone, Phase locked one of them and threw it out of the train, through the wall. Salvador took this moment to jump into the train through the new hole and pull out two Vladof machine guns and fire at pretty much everything that moved. The other group (consisting of Gaige, Krieg and Joel) were struggling to fight the increasing numbers of loaders that were streaming in through the windows. The number of loaders eventually thinned out with the help of DT and some wild buzz axe swinging from Krieg. A loud noise was heard and then Zer0 descended from the roof. Maya, thinking he was some sort of super droid, turned her gun on him.

"Maya, no he's with us." Joel said to her, while lowering her gun.

"The thrill of battle/It baffles me heavily/others don't feel this way.

Zer0 said, in Haiku (I'm only going to be writing Haiku every now and then, NO COMPLAINING).

Axton did a quick head count, after seeing everyone he pushed through the door that everyone was grouped near.

The whole groups mouths opened at what they saw.

"You know it's cute you all think you're the heroes of this little adventure, but your not." Said the dummy of Handsome Jack.

'_Well, shit.' _Was all Joel managed to think before he heard:

"Welcome to Pandora kiddos!" After that sentence the mannequin of Handsome Jack, along with the mounds of dynamite surrounding it exploded.

.

.

..

..

…

…

After what felt like hours Joel woke up with the mother of all shoulder aches. He looked down at his leg to see a large piece of shrapnel lodged just below his right shoulder.

"_Fuck that hurts. Ugh, where am I?" _ He looked around to see all of the others just regaining consciousness while a small robot on a wheel was talking to himself about something. He got up to see the robot digging a hole when he said something about dead Vault hunters and Handsome Jack. The robot continued for a while, after realising Joel was alive the robot began a sort of celebratory dance and rambled on to himself. Joel took this opportunity to check on everyone else. Axton had 2 missing toes on his right foot, Maya had what appeared to be a gun barrel lodged in her left arm. Zer0, had come out of it with no actual injuries but his suit was bashed up to hell. Salvador and Gaige looked relatively fine but Krieg was standing up looking completely fine. "MY FLESH HAS NO PAIN IN IT! I HAVE ONLY BUGS DANCING IN MY VEINS AND MY FLESH STICKS FEEL SICK!" He yelled, presumably attempting to voice his injuries. Everyone got up groaning and moaning except for Maya, who apparently could not stand due to her injuries. Joel pulled the shrapnel out of his shoulder with his remaining hand and watched as the bleeding, horror movie worthy wound heal in a matter of seconds. Everyone stared with their mouths wide open.

"It took years before my arm wound healed when I put the robot one on." Said Gaige, in disbelief. Krieg looked at him and screamed something about his blood goblins being less lazy than his.

"Your wound vanishes/What is this technology/I must have it now. Zer0 said as he walked towards him. Salvador and Axton watched the spectacle looking as confused as possible, but both of them dismissed it as a hallucination.

"I don't have any technology like a healing shield. I just heal that fast." Joel said.

"Why, does it have something to do with your left side?" Maya asked.

Joel turned at that moment to explain, but decided against it. He walked over to Maya and picked her up in his arms carefully.

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?" she screamed at him.

"You're not walking anywhere with that leg and I'm by far the healthiest right now." He looked over and saw the robot waving at them. "Come on, that robot looks like he wants us to follow him."

The group looked over and decided to follow him as he led them into a small building. Everyone was getting settled down for now and then suddenly a huge ape-like creature swung in through the window and pulled the robot's eye right out of it's head. Joel walked over to the robot and said. "Excuse me, what's your name."

"Oh! My name is CL4P-TP but my friends call me Claptrap, if they were alive, or had existed in the first place, now minion we must get my eye back!"

Joel, feeling exhausted turned to the group and said.

"Right, Krieg come with me Salvador you can come too. Gaige you can come if you want but if not, stay here. Zer0, we need you to be stealthy so I want you to fix your suit, but Maya and Axton, DON'T MOVE FROM HERE, you two seriously need to get patched up, so take care of yourselves." Joel took the group he had requested (Gaige chose to stay to look after her new friends, as she said). They trudged along, killing bullymong after bullymong (they were told that was what they were called) before they got to the largest of all of them.

INTRODUCING: KNUCKLE DRAGGERRRRRRRRRRR!

(this is gonna hurt).

The fight lasted for all of twenty seconds, Knuckle Dragger, was not as advertised. Salvador and Krieg had rushed him and done tonnes of damage Joel had stood back rapidly scoring criticals with his Dahl pistol and a Jakobs revolver. Knuckle dragger went down as fast as you could say "wow this is way easier than I thought." Upon killing him he dropped a strange looking gun. Joel's HUD told him it was a legendary called "Hornet." He picked it up and fired a few rounds.

"_Wow! This thing is amazing! It fires corrosive rounds with such speed, maybe I should give it to Zer0." _He looked at the ground and the acid eating through the ice and the snow. He kept staring as a huge shadow grew over him. _"Umm, what's that?" _He looked up to see something he wished he would never see again. Ms Maliwan's Ship.


	4. Chapter 4: Not You Again!

Author's Note:

Sorry it's been this long since an update guys. I don't really want to go with the normal "being busy" cliché but I have actually had a lot of work getting back into school and such forth. Oh well, without further ado, here it is.

Chapter 4: Not You Again!

Joel stared up in horror as he watched the ship slowly lowering above the small group. He looked at it and had a sudden flashback of the construction of the mighty ship. It had been hell to design and make. Ms Maliwan wanted it to run on sunlight and heat rather than fossil fuels and getting a fuel cell large enough to get it anywhere had proved to be a plethian task. He was brought back into the moment when Salvador kindly yelled:

"WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE DOING HERE?!"

"MY SOUL MUNCHERER FEELS A BAD FEELING ABOUT THE HOLLOW BUG" Krieg announced.

Joel thought about it, it did indeed look like a large cockroach but that was how it was designed, I guess it wasn't too much of a big deal for Ms Maliwan.

"Guys, we need to leave, NOW." Said Joel, with a strong tone in his voice.

"Why, what is it about her that you don't like?" Asked Salvador, actually calm for once in a never.

"I know her, and she knows me. There isn't enough time to explain, we need to run right this second." Said Joel, beginning a sprint back to Claptrap's place.

"Hold up amigo, my legs are not as long as yours!" Yelled Salvador.

"MY MEAT STICKS ARE LONGER THAN BOTH OF THE OTHER BONE BAGS'!" screamed Krieg, picking up Salvador and joining in the running.

The run lasted all of 5 minutes. In that time Joel had the ability to reflect on all of the things that had happened with Ms Maliwan in his past.

He had worked for her about 60 years ago on Eden-5. Back then Maliwan was an unknown manufacturer, the only two at that time being Tediore and Dahl. Jakobs would soon follow, then Maliwan, then Vladof, then Hyperion, then Torgue. Bandit wouldn't even be an idea for another 7 years after Torgue.

But when Maliwan was just starting off, there were many problems. Everyone knew about the 4 elements in gun manufacturing, corrosive, shock, fire, and explosive. Slag hadn't been discovered yet because It only comes into play after the first Vault opening. Maliwan had the dream of making the best guns that used elemental damage, but she didn't have the know-how to get started. She employed several Dahl workers with the enticing promise of free weaponry when they succeeded. Joel was one of these workers. Joel had been working on a way to make a gun build it's own bullets while you walked around with it and was getting fairly far, and only joined on the promise that he could finish his work. Ms Maliwan agreed and he began working. Within 3 years he found HER pot of gold (metaphorically). He discovered a way to multiply the power of the elements far beyond what any manufacturer could do at that time. This was when the problem began. After he discovered the magic secret of crystalisk crystals he was no longer useful. Ms Maliwan placed him in human testing the second she got the chance. At that time the company were trying to combine guns and people, and make cyborgs (these exist now but they didn't back then). They attempted to fuse him with a small pile of weaponry when there was a problem. The crystalisk crystals found their way into his bloodstream and corrupted the left half of his body. He was terribly scarred on that side and never shows it to anyone, well, if he did he would be arrested for stealing. He had to escape the Maliwan complex and has been on the run ever since. When he heard of the first Vault opening and the prospect of a second he decided he was definitely going. Pandora had virtually no rules anyway, and Hyperion was looking for recruits. Joel knew the truth behind handsome Jack and was going to work his way up and then kill him personally. Of course, this didn't work and he now found himself in his current situation.

He dodged a well aimed automatic turret's rocket and continued running. He dove into Claptrap's place as soon as he saw the door, being closely followed by Salvador and Krieg. He looked up through the roof and saw the ship stop, then float slowly away.

"What… the… hell… was… that?" asked Salvador clearly without breathe. Krieg said nothing, and simply fell on the floor and went to sleep.

"That, was Ms Maliwan's ship." Said Joel.

"Oh hey you're back." Said Gaige just walking in. "What was that huge ship"

"Yeah what was it?" asked Maya.

"Well…" Joel started. He then proceeded to tell them of the time he worked for Maliwan and what had happened.

"Whoa, that's AWESOME!" yelled Gaige. "Can I see your scars?"

"No"

"How old were you then?/You must have been 21/To still be alive." Said Zer0 in his trademark Haiku.

"I was 30"

"Wait, what?" asked Axton, who had just woken up. "That would make you almost 90"

"Yep" Joel said. "The failed experiment is what gave me my healing." "I age very slowly as well."

"That's interesting./What kind of scar did it leave?/Is it crystalline? Asked Zer0.

"None of your business, but I did get you this pistol, here it's called the Hornet, corrosive, accurate and fast firing.

Zer0 said nothing but simply displayed a emoticon on his visor.

There was a collective decision made between everyone else in the group that they would find out what he was hiding sooner or later, but now was not the time.

The whole group left on the way to Sanctuary the next day. They had to repair a broken Catch-a-Ride station and get a car, but when they invaded the bandit camp to find Reiss, they were knocked out and taken somewhere else.

Joel woke with a start and realised he could not move his limbs. He looked around and saw that he was tied in a chair and the others were all around him, except Maya.

Maya was nowhere to be seen.


	5. Chapter 5: Well Crap

Author's Note:

Sorry for the way too long wait folks, I won't say that I was busy because I was not, and I'm not going to lie to my readers. Anyhow, this is finally out so, enjoy.

I do not own Borderlands (except for Joel, that's me).

Italicised words are the characters thoughts.

Chapter 5: Well crap.

While Joel was looking around the small room he was apparently locked in, bound to a chair he noticed three things:

Maya was nowhere to be seen.

There was a disturbing trail of blood.

There were strange noises coming through a vent in the ceiling.

All of the things he noticed led to one conclusion: Maya had been taken hostage by the bandits.

"_I swear if they have hurt Maya one little bit I will fuck them up so much that their own mothers won't be able to recognise them, then I will place them in the New-U system, then kill them over and over and over." _Joel thought.

"Hey guys, does anyone know where Maya is?" Asked Axton

"Nope" said Gaige

"I got nothin'" said Salvador

"NEVERRRRRRRRRRR!" said Krieg

"Negative" said Zer0

Joel did not respond but instead looked at Axton with an obvious look of worry.

The whole confusing situation when the piercing scream f Maya in obvious pain was heard through the vent.

"NO!" yelled Joel

"I WILL KILL YOU SONS OF BITCHES!" yelled Salvador

Krieg simply screamed as loud as he could and Gaige and Zer0 simply stared, not knowing what to do.

More screams were heard through the vent slowly driving Joel insane, he was becoming madder and madder when suddenly the right side of his body began tingling.

"_NO NO NO NO! This can't happen in front of other people!"_

Joel screamed in pain as he could feel the skin and flesh on his right side being replaced by thick armour-like crystals. The iron covering on the left side of his body began to creak and groan as there were several gleaming crystals puncturing the armour.

"What in the name of…?" Said Axton

"HOLY SHIT WHAT IS HAPPENING!?" Screamed Salvador

"NO NO NO NO NO! DON'T DIE ON US JOEL! Yelled Gaige, straining at her binds

"What is happening/What have you hidden from us?/You are transforming! Said Zer0, in Haiku

"HIS SLUDGY PINK IS BEING REPLACED BY NOBLE YELLOW!" screamed Krieg

Joel's body continued it's process, his whole outer shell of crystals began growing, he was increasing in size rapidly until ha became an almost 20 foot high crystalline human, who was extremely angry.

He began running in the direction of the screams, knocking down doors as he went, crushing bandits in his path and flattening anything that so much as tried to thwart his rescue mission.

"I will tear the essence of your SOUL!" he screamed at the bandits he was ripping to shreds

"I will plant the seed of destruction inside your mind AND WATCH AS IT BLOOMS INTO DEATH!" I will SEAR YOUR VERY ORGANS FROM THE INSIDE OUT!

Joel rampaged on in his anger induced crystalisk rage and came to the place they were holding Maya.

He smashed the door straight into the room and crawled in through the normal human sized door. He went straight for the huge Psycho that was there and threw him back through the pathway he had just run through. Doubtless he would die a very painful death.

Joel knelt down next to Maya and picked her up, cradling her in his giant gleaming arms. He gently placed her on his shoulder and ran straight to Sanctuary, stopping only to pick the others up on the way.

79 hours later he woke up in Sanctuary in a neatly made bed. He got up and began walking around. Everything in his body hurt and seemed to be made of nails, all of his joints worked but he could not see his armour anywhere, though his clothes were nicely washed. That was when he remembered what had happened. He sat back down on his bed because he was beginning to distrust his balance. He remembered rescuing everyone from the bandit hideout and running the whole way to sanctuary, not very difficult to do normally but he had torn his way through a large bandit complex and killed at least 600 bandits along the way.

"Now you might want to slow down a little bit there big guy" Gaige said as she walked into his room with a plate of food. "You've been out for days, well, three to be exact."

"Where is Maya?" Joel asked

"Don't worry about her, she's just asleep. She sat by you're bedside for a good 60 hours before we could persuade her to sleep.

"Wow, 60 hours?"

"Yeah I know, sounds like she's got a bit of a thing for you".

Gaige left the plate next to him and left the room. Joel had wondered why he did not question her about what had happened, realising that she was who she was, she had probably decided that it was not a good idea to interrogate him before he saw Maya.

He began eating the food that was on his plate and was wincing in pain after not using his jaw for several days, when Maya walked in, clearly having just woken up. She rushed to his bedside and hugged him.

"Whoa, ease up there you might break my ribs." Joel said

"Oh, uh sorry sorry." Maya said, realising she was presumably too close.

"I didn't say stop."

Maya began hugging him again, and he was hugging her back.

"What happened out there?" She asked him, while he was still in her embrace.

"It's this thing that happens when I get too angry, the left side of my body looks like that all the time, that's why I cover it, well, that and they are also really weak."

"The crystals are weak?" Maya said, lifting her head with a confused look.

"Not as weak as human skin, but fairly. The only way for me to die is to take my heart, I heal too quickly and that's behind my crystals. Someone would have to tear my heart out behind them, which is easier than it sounds."

"Well, I'm certainly not doing that any time soon."

" I hoped not." Joel said.

There was a long silence between the two while they gazed into each other's eyes.

"Thank you for saving me Joel." Maya said

"Anytime."

The two leaned in and kissed each other. It was a long long kiss, in fact it was so long that During the time that they were kissing, Axton, Salvador, Zer0 and Krieg had enough time to walk in rather unannounced.

They looked at the two while they were still making out and decided it was best to wait, let nature take it's course, then return after that had happened.

For the first time on Pandora that day, no-one was mad at anything (except the bandits). There was however, one person who was becoming slowly more displeased.


End file.
